An Open Letter to My Father on Father's Day...
I wish you could see me now Dad…
I would go back to that hospital bed where you lay and hold your hands in my face and tell you so many things. It’s going to be okay Dad. It’s going to be okay because I’m going to find a wonderful man to marry. One you would love and respect. I would get so excited telling you about all the adventures I would have all around the world. You’ll never know how much losing you made me view life differently and to never take any good thing for granted. I know you’d want me to take advantage of every opportunity to love life to the fullest and I’ve lived my heart out!
I’ve also found heartbreak – as do we all in this life. I realized in those moments why you clung so desperately to Job and Jeremiah, and ironically Joel Osteen all at the same time. Lately in my life there has been a lot of Joel Osteen!
So don’t worry, I still love Jesus and He teaches me so many things. I talk to Him often and all the time, just like you taught me to do. Sometimes I forget to pray those long bedtime prayers like you did, but don’t worry I still let God know I love Him and pray for others often. And I still bless my food before I eat it.
I would be ecstatic to show you my degrees just to see and hear how proud you are of me. Oh! And Richard got one too and is doing very well for himself. He’s so smart, it’s unreal all the things he has in his head! Everyone else is doing well too. Grandma and Grandpa still tell stories of you and we all still miss your humor.
I know you know all these things from your view up above, but it feels good to share them with you as if you were here with us once again.
It’s crazy to think that starting this year, I will have spent my life longer without you in it than with you here.
But I have this hope in my heart and I hold on tight. And although the feelings come and go, my hopeful expectation never fades. I can’t wait to see you again and see what you’ve been up to all these years.
I love you deeply and I still miss you.
Truth is, I’m not sure if you see me or not, but either way these feelings have been welling in my heart lately. And for some reason tonight I cannot suppress them. I need to express this emotion somehow and tell you I miss you, I’m okay, I’ll never forget you, and one day I will see you again.
You taught me well, you were a good father, and I will love you always.
All my love,
Your daughter, Kaitlyn
P.S. God I would sure appreciate an angel sending this letter on that ladder to heaven. I hope Dad gets to see and hear these words. In a place where there is no sorrow, I don’t know if he will experience the pain of loss like I do. But I know Your Kingdom up there is a place of the purest kind of love, so I hope the earthly Father you gave me will at least hear and know all the good things I have experienced from Your hands, O God. Thank you for every good and perfect gift from above.